This week in my Life Group we studied toxic thoughts. We talked in depth about how important our thoughts are. There are dozens of passages in scripture that describe the importance of your thoughts and the importance of protecting them, as well as how your life can be determined by what you think. To give you an example, here are a few of the verses we used:
“For as he thinks in his heart, so is he”
(Proverbs 23: 7a NKJV).
“Carefully guard your thoughts because they are the source of true life”
(Proverbs 4: 23 CEV).
“And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus”
(Philippians 4: 7).
“Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable — if anything is excellent or praiseworthy — think about such things”
(Philippians 4: 8).
“Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind” (Romans 12: 2).
“The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds”
(2 Corinthians 10: 4).
“Yet you know me, LORD; you see me and test my thoughts about you. Drag them off like sheep to be butchered! Set them apart for the day of slaughter!”
(Jeremiah 12: 3).
We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ
(2 Corinthians 10: 5).
My Life Group was super transparent during our time together this week about some of the thoughts that overrun their lives. They identified toxic behaviors which origins were rooted in toxic thoughts. I'll give you a few anonymous examples that were discussed:
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1. "I used to make myself throw up because I thought I wasn't pretty enough. And if I wasn't pretty or skinny enough no one would ever love me."
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2. "I took a job that paid me more money, but took me away from church, serving, and fellowship with the Body of Christ, because I thought it would be my only chance to have the financial resources that I want and need in order to live my life comfortably."
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3. "I got into a relationship with a guy who wasn't a believer and treated me badly, because he was interested in me and I thought if I don't date him, no one else might ever come along and be interested in me."
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4. "I stayed in a relationship where I was being emotionally abused on a daily basis because I thought if I could just stay in the relationship, I could be a good influence on him and he could change."
Then I asked my Life Group to go back and counteract those thoughts and make them obedient to Christ according to His Word. Here is what we came up with (and I added some commentary):
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"I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well."
(Psalm 139:14)
"For your royal husband delights in your beauty;
honor him, for he is your lord."
(Psalm 45:11)
"For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago."
(Ephesians 2:10)
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Basically the whole first part of Deuteronomy 28:1-12! The whole first part is titled "Blessings for Obedience." Seriously, check it out!
3 & 4
Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.
(James 1:17)
(A good and healthy relationship with someone who is a follower of Christ, good hearted and treats you well is a good and perfect gift. Which means the opposite cannot come from the Lord.)
Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness?.... Or what portion does a believer share with an unbeliever?
(2 Corinthians 6:14-15)
(Your blood-bought heart has no business being intertwined with someone who doesn't even know what love is because they've never surrendered their life to the Only One who has ever displayed perfect and complete love.)
Do not be deceived: “Bad company ruins good morals.”
(1 Corinthians 15:33)
(Missionary dating is not a thing. You cannot make someone good or better. Only they can make that choice and if they actually wanted to make that choice, they would have made it a long time ago. If they promise to make a change, it will have about a two week shelf life before going back to normal. The chances are you will be more changed for the worse than they ever will be for the good.)
Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
(1 Corinthians 13:4-7)
(This one is probably self explanatory, but again, if the person you're with has never experienced and surrendered to the love that Jesus displayed when He laid down His life for you on the cross, that person will never be able to love you like Jesus does. He will never understand and display sacrificial love if he hasn't acknowledged the ultimate sacrifice. And if he says he has given his life to Jesus, but he still can't live out this scripture in his life, then RUN. Because those who claim to know Christ should be fighting tooth and nail to live out this scripture in their relationships!)
So now you get an idea of what we discussed in my Life Group this week. When we were finishing up I asked something pretty huge of my LG. I asked them to be transparent in a radical way. I asked them to capture a thought this week, replace it with scripture and make it obedient to Christ, then I asked them to share that toxic thought and the counteractive scripture as a Facebook status.
Well. I wouldn't be a very good Life Group leader if I didn't do the same. So here's mine.
MY TOXIC THOUGHT
This morning I woke up and as I was getting ready to head to my office I had the most toxic, intrusive thought that I will probably never be able to be in a relationship again. I had the thought that I'm probably too damaged, with a broken & messy heart, and a distorted view of what love and a healthy relationship really looks like.
Upon realizing how septic that thought was, I immediately searched my heart and scripture to replace that lie in my head. Here is how I took that thought captive and fit it into the structure of life shaped by Jesus Christ (1 Cor 10:5 MSG):
For I will restore health to you, and your wounds I will heal, declares the Lord…(Jeremiah 30:17)
Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come. (2 Corinthians 5:17)
Create in me a clean heart, O God. Renew a loyal spirit within me. Restore to me the joy of your salvation, and make me willing to obey you. (Psalm 51:10,12 NLT )
These verses are simple and well known, but as my dad always says, "cliches become cliches for a reason." And they turned my thoughts and attitude around immediately. So even still, I don' know if I'll ever be in a relationship again, but at least I know it won't be because I'm too broken or messed up. Because according to The Word, God is a restorer, a healer, and a cleanser. And that's the truth that I'm walking in today. And that's how you take a thought captive and make it obedient to Christ.
With love,
Sally
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